wednesday/green

hate and love.
i hate teaching to the test.
i hate worrying about scores.
i hate being personally graded by numbers
that don't even come close to what
my shorties can do.

i love when the scores come back
and the numbers rock.
i love that those same numbers
give our principal ammunition to
pull out when the
school board of commissioners
say that they have no money
for our school.
i love that it proves, even more now,
that baltimore city schools do not want to
fund success.
we are right.
and they stink.

yesterday, i found out that
our msa scores rocked.
i looked at the numbers and felt pride.
but i also felt resentment.
all of the time and money spent
testing our children
to make sure that teachers
are doing their jobs
could buy an awful lotta books
for my classroom.
it could buy us a computer lab
or a playground.
it could buy
wholesome, healthy food
for our cafeterias
instead of the frozen
preserved plastic
food they serve now.
i felt angry that the scores
don't take into consideration
all of the hours spent in morning circle
learning how to cope with real issues.
issues of the heart.
issues that teach us to be good grownups one day.

if there was a way to measure
hard work and perserverance
and hugs and reflection,
then my shorties would be off the chain.

we only have one classroom rule:
we take care of each other.
period.
no exceptions.

it is too bad that i am not required to teach to that test.