how summer rolls

summer is about saying yes 
when friends invite you to grab midday nosh 
and ride around the harbor. 

back home

reflecting on the funeral and loss of a sweet friend, i took a drive down
port tobacco road to chapel point.
i parked as close as i could get to this house and waded through the grass
and the "no trespassing" gate.
in high school, we used to have band practice on this porch.
i have fond memories of long conversations while stripping tobacco in the
barn out back in the winter, and coming in for mrs. goldsmith's home-cooked meals
around the big round table in the kitchen.
it felt good to come here after reconnecting with high school friends today.
it felt good to be back in charles county, on country roads, winding past farm fields,
leading down to the river.
time moves quickly.
it changes everything.
it's not new to me...but today reminded me that we only have a short time to rock this life.

so get to it.

determined

#naphopomo day 19.

one day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice.
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"mend my life!"
each voice cried.
but you didn't stop.
you knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
it was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
but little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world
determined to do
the only thing you could do.
determined to save
the only life you could save.

 "the journey" by mary oliver

i am so far from the shore

throw me no life vest

i'm not drowning 

my lungs are fine.

i am breathing for the first time

like i have so many times before.

the salt in the air is the salt in the sea 

is the salt in the earth is the salt in me

so please let this vessel go down.

i am taking on water

i am so far from the shore.

i am giving my flesh to your body

ocean open wide once more.

tell me no tall tales

im not clowning

your walls are down.

i am feeling for the first time,

my way in is my way out.

"ocean open wide" - hoots and hellmouth

#naphopomo day 12.

gift

i will buy you a ticket.
come. relax. heal.
beeeeeeeeep.
that was the message, back in november,
from my dear friend, keno.

tomorrow, i fly to albequerque,
(without babychop and papabear)
detour to santa fe for groceries,
and then north, on the high road
to angel fire.

angel fire.
the place that heals me.
the clay-dirt and sky that makes
my heart pound hard
and brings clarity to what
is really important.

after the sun sinks into the magical sangre de cristo range,
the stars drip from the sky and the air is silent and dark.
their light sinks deep down and reveals la verdad
you never knew existed.

dear angel fire,
i am counting on you.