spc: patterns

this month's spc challenge is about exporing pattens.
when i think of patterns, the teacher in me
automatically thinks: numbers.
this leads me to time measurement.
liam was eating every three hours at first.
then every two hours.
now it is between one and two hours.
all day.
all night.
the pattern of nourishment.
the pattern of his breathing as he
gulps and grunts happily.
the repeated expression each time he falls off my breast:
eyebrows raised, arms stretched high, milky face content and happy.



click here to see others' pattern interpretations.

one month and one day ago

our lives changed forever.
our hearts became fuller than we could ever imagine.
our estimate of how much poop a baby can produce was proven wrong.
we became more aware.
of everthing.

i love you, littlest man.
(that is what aunt lala calls you).

my goodness...

my heart
is not my own.

this morning,
mr. babypants
smiled at me.

it wasn't a reflex
or gas.
it was an
honesttogod
smile.
a reaction
to his mama.

sigh.

i will forever be a puddle.

to keep seeing the
boy-shortie goodness
click here.

oh yeah...right

"i am going to post at least one
photo a day for the first year..."
i said
before
i had this amazing little man in my arms.

i HAVE taken manymanymany photos.
and i am slowly,
while holding and feeding and staring
at the dear one we created,
uploading them here.

i have so much i want to share
and i will.
i promise.
no.
really.

keep checking the photos on my flickr site
to get your fix.

i'll be back.
i promise.

introducing...

one week ago i was in labor.
i was getting through each
contraction one long breath
at a time.
at 2:53 a.m., last thursday morning
we had our baby, liam.

10 pounds
3 ounces
22 inches long.
water birth.

i have spent a week staring at his perfect
toes
ears
mouth
fingers
shoulders
nose
eyes
and chubby legs.

it is killing me to be typing here
in case i miss something!

i am in love
a thousand times over.

life is good.
so, so good.

see more snuggaliscious shots here

p.s. thank you all for leaving me the sweet comments
and encouragement through this amazing journey!

still no baby. what?

i still haven't had him.
he is taking his sweetoldtime.
so i thought i would share some photos.
my very talented,
amazing, photographer-friend,
julia pearson, took these photos.
"quick! come over! i want to get
some photos of you before you have him!"
she said last tuesday when i was told
i was dilated so much.


click here to see other photos from the set.


julia is also going
to work her magic and record our son's birth.
but don't worry...i won't be posting them here.
hee..

our shortie will be here soon!

are we there yet?

39 weeks and counting...



"the good news is
that you're dilated
4 to 5 centimeters"
said my midwife
this afternoon.
(10cm and you start pushing)

"everything's going beautifully.
it could be tomorrow
or next week.
your body is progressing
towards the birth
of your son."
she smiled at me
through her wise eyes.

tears.
i get to meet him soon.
tears.
i can't believe this is finally happening.

it could be any day now.

our beautiful baby will be in our arms.

sunday pink

i made watermelon gazpacho yesterday
for our bradley birth class reunion.
yum!
that would have been an excellent pink photo.
but it was eaten.

so i dug through some of my favorite pink shots
from the last year to share with you.

it has been a fun color week!
thank you for all who stopped by.
let's do it again sometime...soon!

sat-red-day

when i was a kid,
my friend, susan, used
to sing this song:
"red, red, pee in the bed
soak it up with gingerbread".

and to this day, i think:
"what the hell does that mean?"

that song will alway come to mind though
everytime i hear the word red.

thanks, susan...









tomorrow is the last day for color week
and it is all about the color pink!

i don't have any songs about pink.
do you?

orange you glad it's friday?

whenever i think of orange,
i automatically think of an
ice cold orange crush.
or a stewart's orange creme.

orange is the color that
sums up summer.











tomorrow? saturday reds...

white/brown/black

trying to be distracted by
color week
as my boy is rolling all
across the inside of my torso.

papaya tablets are my new best friend
as he nestles up into my sternum.

sigh.

enjoy today's color trio!

greenygreengreen

wednesday is all about
rockin' the green.
even in urban baltimore
there is a lot of this
lovely color.











check out other color seekers!
here
here
here
here
and here.

it's not too late! join in on the fun.
thursday is white,brown and black!

tuesday blues-day

i feel like i am going to pop.
i literally lumber down the hallway,
my swollen feet trying to support
this 30lb. baby-ball that my womb has become.

it was over 100 degrees today
and i was feeling a bit blue until
i created this post for color week.

today is shades-of-blue day.











check out other blues here, here, and here

yellow monday

my baby-kitten shortie at the annual pool party last week.
i went and swam and caught up with the happenin's and goin' ons.


ripe apricots from the farmers' market

a year has gone by since i last did color week.
andrea has started the challenge this time
and i am loving the distraction from my
ever-growing-belly.

see you tomorrow for tuesday blues...

no picnic

"dear ms. k."
the email read,
"i miss you.
how is the baby doing?
i thought you said we were your children.
you said we were family.
love, na-na."

how do tell a third grader,
who has abandonment issues,
that i am not leaving her forever?
how do i tell a child who
i have dearly loved since i
first saw her beautiful, smarmy grin
five years ago,
that i will always be in her life?

last week was hard.
i wanted to drive to the school
and tell them one more time
how proud i am of them.
i wanted to go read their writing and
be amazed at their creativity.
i wanted to make sure i have hugged
each one of them enough to last until
i come back to visit.
and then,
start all over again.

sigh.

this is harder than i thought it would be.

sum-sum-summertime

the smell of the ocean
as the waves crash across the sand.
the freshness of the farmers' market
produce nurturing the body and soul.
fire-hydrants bringing communities
together as everyone cools off in the spray.
eating homemade ice cream and hanging out on
the front porch with the neighbors.
soft-shell crab sandwiches and lemonade.

summer is here ya'll!
woot! woot!


what is your favorite part of summer?

spc: going, going...

i went in yesterday to make
sure the new teacher
felt comfortable with
the routine of the shorties' day.
she had written a beautiful
morning messsage in
bright, welcoming colors.
she conducted the
morning circle with ease.

i quietly packed up
my pictures and
notes from five years
of shortie-love.
i put the piggy-bank
that the shorties started
to fill for our son's
college tuition in my bag,
gathered all of the cute
baby clothes and blankets
that the parents brought me,
and closed the door behind me.

my girls from last year caught me
at the front door as they were leaving the gym.
tears.
"don't leave us."
"don't go."
making me feel very loved yet
also like the biggest jerk ever
as we stood there with our
arms around each other.

i left this place of
learning and laughter,
celebration and collaboration,
that i have seen each morning for five years.
i left behind the last six weeks of school
and drove home to my new life.

as lou reed sings,
"this is the beginning of a
great adventure..."



this month's self portrait challenge
is to reveal your environment.

breaking up

"this friday?"
said my most thoughtful shortie.

"yes," i replied through my tears
after i announced that i would
only be their teacher for
one more week.

"but we have seven weeks of school left",
she said, staring at me,
the biggest traitor that she has ever met.
"i worked so hard to get into third grade
and be in your class,"
her shoulders shaking,
"and now you are leaving me."

the kleenex box made its way
around the circle of small hands
as they consoled each other,
"well at least we have one more week together."

how do i make them believe that
i am leaving so that i can be ready
to take care of my new shortie
growing in my belly?
how can they understand that
i am proud of them?

"is it because of our behavior?"

they look at me with hurt faces.
i am letting them down.
"i love you.
you have made me proud.
you are my little chickens."

tears again.
all of us.

"will you be our teacher next year?"

"that is the plan," i lie.

i can't tell them the truth.
the truth that i have decided to stay
at home next year with my boy
and soak in the amazement of motherhood.

i don't even know if i have faced that truth myself.
it is surreal to think that i won't be walking through
those doors each morning to hugs and hand-made notes
telling me how much i am loved.

a part of my heart is being torn away.
and a whole new life is beginning.

spc: waiting

lazily floating on the river all day,
snacking endlessly on
fresh local strawberries,
peanut-butter cookies,
and grapefruit spritzers
(substituting for beer this year).

this is how i start the
wait for summer,
camping with my peeps in
a huge open meadow on
the rappahanock river in
tappahanock, virginia.

good conversation.
good food.
amazing friends,
old and new.

to date, our son has cooked for
33 weeks in my belly.
4 more weeks to go before
the official wait-for-arrival begins.

this summer will bring on a
celebration of life and family.

this month's self portrait challenge
is to show what is special to you in your environment.
to show how you are celebrating the new season in your part of the world.

join in on the fun and check out
other spc-ers in their surroundings here.

(photo credit for capturing my gorgeous belly
goes to kimmy over at shimmer glimpse)

spc: urban playground

jack plays baseball out here with his mom and dad.
one day, the triplets will play out here, too.
they'll shout up to our kitchen window to see if
our boy can come down and play but
he'll already be halfway there.

cousins will come over and they will
scream and shout as they
throw water balloons and
draw with sidewalk chalk.

alleys are the place to be in the city.
a place to hang and catch up with the
neighbors as your kid practices
on his new training wheels
racing the others to the
next lamp post.

we dream and hope and
nest and build and fall in love
over and over every day.
life is good.
crazy good.

the self portrait challenge this month
is to capture yourself somehow, somewhere on the street.
check out more street shots here at the
self portrait challenge site.

like a polaroid picture

some of my shorties made me a picture for mother's day.

on this day, and every day,
i think we should take their advice and
"shake [what] your mama gave you..."

happy mothers' day to
all women everywhere.
we have all been a mother at some time
to someone somewhere.

happy mothers' day
to my two mothers,
ellen and aunt kathi.

quickie

millie, my cousins' daughter,
is home.
she is beautiful
and has stolen
all of our hearts.

she smells so good as she
snuggles into her blanket,
making faces as she dreams
about eating and sleeping
and whatever else babies
have in their baby-schema
of life.

just wanted to let folks know.
(actually she has been home for
over a week now...)

(click here to read about it.
make sure you scroll down to get all of the
welcome-home-goodness!)


note: millie is the daughter
of my cousin, talley, and her
husband, robby.
our son is still a-cookin' and has about three months to go...