all is bright

granddad brought these beauties to our thanksgiving celebration.
they were in a box full of ornaments from my husband's childhood.

starting this year,
we'll begin the tradition of
waking up in our own house
on christmas morning.

for the first time as a couple
and the first time as parents,
we are also getting a tree for the holiday.

it has been many years since i have felt the
magic of christmas.
maybe it's because our sweet boy lights up
when we speak of santa claus.
maybe it's the countless times we have sung
frosty the snowman
and rudolph the red-nosed reindeer
and jingle bells
and silent night
and dona nobis pacem
in an effort to pass down the
tradition of holiday caroling.

something about the music
and the crisp air
and twinkly lights...
it all tugs a little on my heart
and makes me a little nostalgic
for the christmases of my youth.

so, the countdown begins tomorrow.
the anticipation of santa coming,
cookies to be baked,
stories to be told,
presents to be given.

the ornaments have to be unpacked.
the lights checked.
furniture moved for proper staging.

it's gonna be good, people.
so good.


handed down from many christmases past,
three generations share the same ornaments.





sidenote: nablopomo ends today, too.
it has been a challenge posting everyday for a month.
30 posts in 30 days!
it helped me shake off the dust that had started
to gather here in this space!

it is nice to be back.

the party's over

see bigger

tomorrow?
christmas shopping.

god help me.

time will tell

i want ha-nee! liam sobbed as we drove away.
we said goodbye in the restaurant parking lot
after a full day of jigsaw puzzles, bocci ball
and longwood gardens' christmas lights.
H looked worried as she buckled herself into her family's car.
she could hear her baby cousin crying.

he will follow her anywhere.
will listen to anything she has to say.
he worships the ground she walks on.
and the feeling is mutual.

it's been this way ever since he entered the picture.
when he was born, she couldn't wait to meet him.
whose going to drive me to baltimore to meet my cousin?
she demanded until she finally made the trip
with both parents and her sister
she would've taken a bus if given permission.

when she is around, liam is in heaven.
hopefully this will continue as they grow older.

we'll see.


christmas 2007


spring 2008


italy, may 2008


summer 2009


summer 2009



summer 2009


H and liam this past thanksgiving

*clink*

your family is perfect, she said.

it was thanksgiving.
my friend, who lives too far away,
and i were chatting on the phone.

whose family are you talking about? i asked.

you always get together, and go places,
and you all seem to really get along, she added.

this made me smile.
of course, my family IS perfect.
for me.

but we are just like everyone else.
we definitely have our issues,
we all have our baggage,
and annoyances,
and ican'tbelievehesaidthat moments.
(right?)


families are what make us tick.
our families have our back. unconditionally. period.

now don't get me wrong.
i come from the type of upbringing
i have learned, over the years
that family is by choice.
you find your family as you find your way through life.
that is what worked for me...self-preservation, maybe.
but that, in detail, is a whole 'notha post.

i have my peeps.
(some chosen and some by birth.)
and they are my family.
what they say matters.
politics, religion, music, food, child-rearing, societal views.
i listen to them. we don't always agree.
but, unconditionally, i love them.
period.

there are plenty of folks driving back from the holiday tonight
thinking that their
families are crazy.
and loud.
and bossy.
and over-the-top.
and embarrassing.
and protective.
and tight-knit.
and loving.
and beautiful.

i wouldn't trade mine for anything.

no.
really.



my brother, tom, has a toast that he likes to say:

here's to cheating, stealing, and lying.
cheat only death.
steal only the heart of the one that you love.
and lie only for family.

cheers.

full of thanks

and this, my friends, is the main reason why.


papa, liam, and izzy on the front porch.

i love my family.
and my extended family.
i am truly the luckiester girl alive.

what are you thankful for?

chicken noodle shadows

look mama! stripes on my hand!"
i looked over and saw the lines
made by the window shade hanging next to his car seat.
he slowly moved his hands around in the air,
experimenting with this visual.
then he closed his fingers quickly, making a fist.
"i caught them!"
i asked him what he was going to do with them.
"eat them!"
and he gobbled them up.

curious, i asked what shadows taste like.

"soup."

who knew?


liam and paul. thanksgiving 2008.

pajamarama

5 month old babychop

today was a
stay-in-our-jammies-all-day
kind of day.
it was a lovely day of
people spontaneously taking me up on my past offers of
"just come by and visit anytime!"

such a lazy but busy day.
no photos taken
what!!!???
so i am sharing some old-goodies.

goodnight.
sleep tight.


10 month babychop

movie monday

this pretty much sums up
the condition of my brain after
a very full, lovely day today.



i am so exhausted, i can barely type.
going to go curl up with my boys and zzzzzzzzzzzzz...

if they never play on it again

it will still be the best five dollars i ever spent.


photos are of liam and his brother-from-another-mother, izzy.
to see them individually, click on the mosaic.

apology

sometimes, when i hear the news,
or read the paper,
or hear how mean people
can be to one another, i wonder
what kind of world we have brought our boy into.

i see how things have changed in my lifetime
and can only imagine what this world will be like
when he is my age.

nothing too profound, my thinking.
we all speculate about the future.
and how effed up it could be
if we don't get our act together.

peace.
it's a sweet idea(listic).

but if we don't strive towards it,
all the money and things the
greedy accumulate won't mean much.

peace.
i hope that our babies have a bright future
and that they'll make a difference.
i can't help but feel that my boy is going to do just that.

food for thought friday

white bean and sausage soup with thyme and rosemary

recipe slightly adapted from bon appetit. february 2006 issue.

WHAT YOU NEED:
1 pound dried cannellini beans (generous 2 cups)
8 cups water
3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, divided
8 garlic cloves; 1 smashed, 7 chopped
1 large fresh rosemary sprig
1 bay leaf
1 large onion, coarsely chopped (about 2 cups)
1 large carrot, coarsely chopped (about 1 cup)
1 large celery stalk, coarsely chopped (about 3/4 cup)
2 1/2 teaspoons finely chopped fresh thyme, divided
4 cups (or more) low-salt chicken broth
1 pound fresh chorizo link sausages, or spicy italian sausage, casings removed (i personally like using the italian sausage better.)
1/4 cup whipping cream

WHAT YOU DO:
*Place beans in heavy large saucepan. Add enough water to pan to cover beans by 4 inches. Let beans soak overnight at room temperature.

*Drain and rinse beans; return to same saucepan. Add 8 cups water, 1 tablespoon oil, smashed garlic clove, rosemary, and bay leaf. Bring to boil. Reduce heat to medium-low, partially cover, and simmer until beans are just tender, 1 to 1 1/2 hours. Season to taste with salt. DO AHEAD Can be prepared 2 days ahead. Cool slightly, cover, and chill.

*Drain beans, reserving 2 cups of the cooking liquid. Discard rosemary sprig and bay leaf.

*Heat remaining 2 tablespoons oil in heavy large pot over medium heat. Add onion, carrot, and celery. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Sauté until vegetables are beginning to soften, about 10 minutes. Add chopped garlic and 1 teaspoon thyme; sauté 2 minutes.

*Add 2 cups reserved bean cooking liquid, 4 cups chicken broth, and beans. Bring to boil; reduce heat to medium and simmer uncovered until vegetables are tender, about 25 minutes.

*Cool soup 10 minutes.

*Meanwhile, sauté chorizo in heavy large skillet over medium-high heat until cooked through, breaking up lumps with back of spoon, about 5 minutes. Transfer chorizo to paper towels to drain.

*Using slotted spoon, remove 1 1/2 cups bean mixture from soup; reserve. Working in batches, puree remaining soup in blender until smooth. Return puree to pot.
OR
Use an immersion blender and puree the soup right in the pot. (highly recommended kitchen gadget!!!)

*Stir in reserved whole-bean mixture, remaining 1 1/2 teaspoons thyme, chorizo, and cream.

note: i like to make this at least one or two days before i am going to serve it to let the flavors blend.

to make it VEGETARIAN, use vegetable stock and gimme lean sausage style tofu in place of the chicken broth and sausage. yummers!

thursday love

with the help of lovely denise, i was the winner of this sweet treasure!


unless they are mean, girls stick together.
that is an unwritten law.
we have each others back.
period.

the internet proves this.
women i've never met have come out
of what-seems-like-nowhere
to encourage me, cheer me on, and leave friendly advice
on my blog.
women from around the country wrote letters to baltimore city
to help save my school from closing.
other women shared their stories about infertility
with me and gave me hope
when paul and i were trying so desperately to conceive.
they wrapped their words around me
and gave me strength when it came time
to leave my shorties so that i could
welcome my own shortie into the world.

we share our excitement and fear.
we put it all out there, our hearts bare.
and we have each others back.

i love my world-wide-tribe.
(check out my sidebar to find links to their blogs)


necklace made by christine miller and stacy de la rosa . find stacy at bellawish!

sunrise, sunset

the short days have been a sobering reminder of the winter ahead.
cramming as much activity as possible
into the morning has been crucial since
it is almost dark when naptime is over.

mornings are our only chance
for zoo trips,
playground romping,
leaf collecting,
and visiting friends.
then we lunch,
nap,
and wake to a darkening sky.

on the bright side?
it makes for some good shadow fun.

ladies and gentlemen

hear the single from the new album here.
exclusive video from babychop!


seriously, folks,
it doesn't get much better than this.

some days, i think my heart is going to explode.

almost didn't make it

late dinner,
late getting jammies on.
late to bed.

wait! what about nablopomo!?


*so a picture is going to hafta' do for today
'cause mama's going back to sleep.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

good tears

sarah and campbell. september 6. baltimore museum of industry.

after hours of selecting the
best captures and
individually detailing
each photo,
i know i've done my job when there are tears
at the final showing.

we met.
they loved them.
and tears fell.

good tears.
the kind that mean your heart is full
and life is good.
hers: during the slideshow.
mine: in the car on the way home.

sigh of relief.

grab yer mug and a spoon

rows of pots filled with hot soup,
homemade desserts,
bottles of beer and wine filled the tables.
there were babies, children, grownups, and critters
milling around, waiting for the judges to have the first taste.
butternut/peanut butter,
beef stew,
apple curry,
thai chicken coconut,
spicy-pumpkin-ground-nut goodness,
black bean/sweet potato,
and, of course, my creamy white bean and chorizo soup
were just a few of the entries in this years
soup cook-off in
my neighborhood.


"painted ladies" charles village, baltimore.

nights like these,
make me realize how much i really love
baltimore.

five senses on friday

taste:
the chorizo, white bean soup that i made for our
neighborhood soup competition that is tomorrow night.

touch:
my new short hair and how strange it feels where it used to be long.

hear:
liam's nose whistling as he breathes in his sleep, next to me.

see:
progress being made on the thousands (oh dear lord, yes, i said thousands)
of wedding photos i am editing.

smell: nag champa burning downstairs.



have a great weekend everyone!

thursday love

"you can show love in different ways"

thoughtful words written by my niece, zoe.
she has a point.
i am going to hold onto this inspiration,
and repeat it often
as we approach this holiday season.

love for your family.
love for your children.
love for your partner.
love for your friends and neighbors.
love for this universe.

share some ways that you show love.

identity

for a while now, i have tried to think of what to do
with the title of my blog.

originally, i started posting stories about my students
as an outlet for me to brag about their greatness.
i could sleep well at night, imagining that everyone was reading
about my kidlets and i didn't have to tell the stories over and over and over.
typing it all out saved my friends and family from
having me talking their ears off in real life.

blogging allowed me to paint a picture of my teaching-life and spotlight
my students who were, and always will be, my heart.
i wrote about the small moments and illustrated them with photos.
in putting it all here, my goal was to show my readers what
real love is all about.

these days, i am not teaching in the classroom.
my time is now filled with caring for
my sweet babychop and his two friends.
they don't call me "ms. kathleen" like my shorties did.
they call me "mama".

so.
do i change the name?
do i stay here?
(i am kind of attached.)
move to another page?
(i have had this blog for almost 5 years!)


what to do...what to do.

you want 'orror?

it never fails.
my heart pounds and i break out
in a cold sweat,
hands shaking,
stomach churning.
each time i approach a stranger and ask,
"may i please take a photograph of you?"
i want to run away, throwing an apology over my shoulder.
i want to say, "nevermind! i didn't mean it.
i am a dork and can't believe i even thought you would speak to me."
i want to rewind the moment and pretend it never happened.


may 2008. santa croce, venice.

we had just arrived.
he served us our drinks at the bar across from our hotel.
as i observed him talking at the tables around us,
i was drawn to his animated face and raspy voice.
i took in the gondolas, ancient buildings, and people of venice
trying to ignore the little voice that pushed me.
go on. ask him!

with the extra courage i acquired from my beer, i finally asked.
i waited.
i cringed.
i waited some more.
hours went by.

he turned and told the other patrons what i wanted to do.
they all laughed.
i cringed again.
you want to take HIS photo? (they were all locals and knew him).
so he looked at me, smiled, and said, "you want 'orror? 'ere it is".
my heart started beating again as the shutter clicked.

i heart this portrait.

sometimes

a photo is enough.

autumn yum

have i mentioned that all i want to do is bake?
something about this time of year makes me want
to use the oven.
muffins.
cookies.
apple cobbler.
all of it!
roasted vegetables.
chicken.
bubbly, cheesy, macaroni and cheese.
bring it on!


lucky, too, that autumn is so beautiful.
because after i eat any of the above,
i need to get out in it and e-x-e-r-c-i-s-e!

what is your favorite part of fall?

hairy eyeball

i've been really taking a good, hard look at myself lately.
in a life-goes-by-really-fast,
am-i-being-true-to-myself,
i-want-to-make-a-difference,
be-happy,
and live-a-long-healthy-life-so-i-can-see-my-grandchildren
kind of look.

that is a lot of lookin'.

under pressure

oh!
that's right!
i have halloween candy
in that cup where we keep the snacks!



mama...


okayokayokay!
i caved.
i shouldn't have even brought it into the house.
should've left it at oma's when we were done trick-or-treating.
i thought i could be strong.


silly, silly, girl.
you know that you are no match
up against ms. mini hershey, her cousin kit kat and her sidekick tootsie roll.

jeesh.

thursday love

when the heck did this happen?

i feel like i stop.
i mean really STOP.
i am still.
i am present.
but i can't help but notice
how quickly everything is going.

i try not to think about
my ever-growing to-do list
when he wants all of my attention.
i try to remember that he is only
this
little
once.

new words come bubbling out of his mouth
as he climbs and pulls himself up, past the beginner slide,
to the highest slide at the playground.
my heart breaks wide open
as he screams with delight,
sliding down into his papa's open arms
before doing it again and again.

i want this sweetness to last.
i want his little-boy-goodness
to stretch into childhood,
through his teen years and
into adulthood.

no matter how still i am.
no matter how present i can be.
only time will tell.
and it's speeding by.

repurpose

drink stirrers TtV.

perfect for stirring
margaritas,
rum runners,
and the perfect old fashioned.

also perfect for banging,
teething,
fishing small things out from tight places,
and tormenting the cat.

my oh my how things change once
children come into the picture.

why not?

doesn't everyone remember the joy from
peeling the sticker from their banana
and pressing it firmly
to the middle of their forehead?

it makes me laugh to think of how
people would react if i did that now.
i imagine going to the bank,
stopping by a coffee bar for a cuppa,
meeting a friend for lunch,
or buying groceries with
a bright blue circle between my eyes.

hee.

i don't know if i could be that brave now.
what about you?

whateveritis

sometimes we stare at the empty canvas in front of us,
trying to visualize what belongs there.
we turn it to view all angles.
we focus. we take deep breaths.
we try to pull the inside of our hearts up
to the surface,
to express the whateveritis that we are feeling,
or want to shout about, because if we don't
we'll burst.

i have a full box of many colors
to splash anywhere i wish.
i can feel the images.
*my classroom, full of those sweet faces that i miss so much.
*teaching with other parents who homeschool.
*taking my photography to the next level and staying home with babychop for a few more years.

i feel like my third graders,
staring at the space-to-be-filled.
not wanting to make a mistake.
i know that i should take liam's lead
and just do what feels good.

ready? set? GO!

figuring out this whole "free-candy-dealio"


seriously?
everyday?
for a month?

you have only written eleven times this year.
what are you thinking?
i need to get back in the saddle.
when will you sleep?
when the baby sleeps, i'll sleep, right?
oh wait. he's sleeping now...
what about your clients? and your new business?
well..er...i...um. i'll make my entries short and sweet.

it's only a month,
right andrea?

so, i'll see you again tomorrow.
right here.
no. really.