you want 'orror?

it never fails.
my heart pounds and i break out
in a cold sweat,
hands shaking,
stomach churning.
each time i approach a stranger and ask,
"may i please take a photograph of you?"
i want to run away, throwing an apology over my shoulder.
i want to say, "nevermind! i didn't mean it.
i am a dork and can't believe i even thought you would speak to me."
i want to rewind the moment and pretend it never happened.


may 2008. santa croce, venice.

we had just arrived.
he served us our drinks at the bar across from our hotel.
as i observed him talking at the tables around us,
i was drawn to his animated face and raspy voice.
i took in the gondolas, ancient buildings, and people of venice
trying to ignore the little voice that pushed me.
go on. ask him!

with the extra courage i acquired from my beer, i finally asked.
i waited.
i cringed.
i waited some more.
hours went by.

he turned and told the other patrons what i wanted to do.
they all laughed.
i cringed again.
you want to take HIS photo? (they were all locals and knew him).
so he looked at me, smiled, and said, "you want 'orror? 'ere it is".
my heart started beating again as the shutter clicked.

i heart this portrait.