SPT 1/31/06: charles
my dad was married five times.
he had five children:
tom (first wife)
chuck and karen (wife #2)
rikk and me (#3)
i am the youngest of my siblings.
(i didn't meet karen until i was 11;
tom 19; and chuck 21)
i was the only one of the five
to live with my dad throughout my
childhood.
yeah...my dad had his issues.
he struggled with alcoholism,
self-confidence and loneliness.
but one thing was constant.
he adored me.
and i knew it.
he came to every audition,
every concert,
every play.
i was, truly, the apple of his eye.
i never took advantage of it.
i was even sometimes terrified
that i had ruined everything
and had lost his trust forever.
but he always came through.
i could do nothing to make
him not believe in me.
and, trust me,
his faith was challenged more
than a few times.
he died when i was 21.
18 years ago and i still
miss him
terribly.
i often wish he could see me now.
wish he could meet paul
and know that i have a
peaceful life.
i would love to hang out with him
as an adult and
hear his memories
and just
chill together.
(this is my dad sometime in the late 40s)
january's challenge: personal history
wow! this post was so touching! it spoke to me in volumes!
ReplyDeleteI love that the picture is all crinkley. I love that he cherished you and you aborbed all moments of it.
ReplyDeleteKathleen, I can't get over your beautiful, layered family. And what a wonder it is that you had such closeness with your father.
ReplyDeleteI have to tell you--your photos knock me out. Just the way your hand looks holding the photo, and the yellow against the black, again, it is so effective. The butterflies below are also amazing.
thank you for sharing this part of your life, I'm sorry for your loss...it's wonderful that you were able to be so close with him while you could...awesome picture to boot!
ReplyDeleteYes, I can attest to how much your dad loved and cared for you. He was so proud of you and all that you embody. I can only imagine that he is looking down now just completely blown away with what a wonderful person you turned out to be and how happy and caring you are. I'm biased, but I truly feel this.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a boy, I hated our dad and how sad my mom was.
ReplyDeleteI never heard from him.
When I finally sought him out and met him, I felt sorry for him; his demons were stronger than he was.
Finally, I am grateful. He left me a beautiful sister that I suppose I love more for not having spent our childhood together. I'm a lucky man.
Love you baby sister
big brother
i know your dad is very proud of you still! I know that I am proud to know you because you exude joy in life from every pore.
ReplyDelete