stillness

it is 3:30 in the morning and i cannot sleep.

it is absolutely still and quiet on the streets
as the sky tucks in a thick blanket of snow over baltimore.
if i close my eyes i can pretend that i am in the mountains
where there is only animal traffic.

my first snow day.
i can imagine the shorties excited faces when they wake up
and realize the freedom of the day before them!

in a few hours, i will go have my blood taken.
by the end of the day, i will know
elation for the small being growing inside my belly
or disappointment of another month
not having concieved.

i keep imagining that the snow is mother nature's
way of wrapping me in a thick, safe blanket
to nurture me regardless of the results i get today.
there is a reason for this snow day.