another round

we are not pregnant.

"your results came back negative.
call us on day one of your next cycle".

that's it. period.

sitting in my classroom,
the shorties gone home to start their winter break,
those words wrapped around
all of my sadness, anger, frustration and grief.

paul and i are going to eat sushi and drink champagne
when he gets off work tonight.
if i can't be pregnant, then i will indulge in
what i can't have when i am pregnant.

so this weekend calls for:
hot baths.
running until i am spent.
bourbon in my eggnog.
dancing until the morning with my friends.

i have hope.