baby kisses

sometimes we spend hours
lying on the floor
laughing
making noises and
talking.
our boy loves when we
kiss him or make noises into his mouth.
this is his way of "kissing" us back.

mr. sandman

chupa
chupa
chupa

tonight as i lay belly-to-belly next to our boy,
my face close to his,
he slowly drifted off
to sleep.

chupa
chupa
chupa

his nose whistled a bit
as he took each sweet breath.
his hand slowly tracking the length of my face.
forehead to chin.
repeat.

chupa
chupa
chupa

and softly, in my ear,
i could hear the noise of his mouth,
nursing his pacifier
in his sleep.

chupa
chupa
chupa

he, lost in his dreamland of endless breasts.
me, lost in the bliss of being his ma.

chupa
chupa
chupa

grateful. thankful. in love.

i am so grateful for this boy.
i am thankful that he is healthy.
and so. so. so. in impossibly in love.

full

i have never been so full.
not from the perfectly roasted turkey
or the amazing butternut squash gratin that my man made.
not from my sister-in-law's homemade granola
or cinnamony apple-cranberry compote (delish!)
i am not even full from the
warm chocolate bread pudding topped
with fresh whipped cream (heavenly).

i am full from
our mini-man's smiles
and drool inspired bubble blowing
and the smell of his sweet, downy head
as he cuddles deep into my arms.

i happily go for seconds on his
shrieks of joy as we help him sit and then stand,
or as he soars above our heads,
his belly resting on his papa's palms...
that is what makes me so full
on this thanksgiving
that is liam's first.

i hope you all had a warm, lovely holiday, too.



p.s. thank you, aunt smelly, for the sweet holiday onesie!

spc: what i wear

security for when he is waking up and feeling fragile.
snuggle time.
melt-down remedy.
sightseeing.
grocery shopping.
but mostly because i don't want to put him down...

i wear my baby.

check out what other folks are wearing.

when my baby goes to memphis

we just got back from our first plane trip.
liam, oma and i went to memphis.

while in the land where people find their inner-elvis,
we discovered our toes,
ate amazing barbecue,
and ventured out to see the civil rights museum.

the best part was seeing aunt peggy.
liam's great-aunt.
my father's older sister.

more later.
mr. travelpants, his papa, and i are
going to get in some snuggletime.

the lion sleeps tonight

one year ago
liam was conceived.
last year, after indulging on
guiness and a blue-cheese burger
and costume watching in fells point,
we made it happen.



one year later i found my mama-self
in the front room of the red canoe
(a childrens book store slash coffee shop
slash yoga studio slash community hang)
with tiny bumble bees and skeletons
and tuxedoed sprouts and lambs
and princesses running around
my sleeping little lion.

it doesn't get any better than this.

twelve weeks today

liam loves his bathtime.
he splashes
and chews on the washcloth
and bats his wet eyelashes
while cooing at his mama.
he loves being naked
and wriggles all around
to stall the putting-on-of-the-diaper.
(allowing me to chomp on his roly-poly thighs!)

twelve weeks.
84 days.
time is flying.

i miss the shorties,
but i am so glad i made the
decision to stay home.
the dayshoursminutesseconds
with mr. schmoopyface is more
amazing than i ever could've imagined.

long time, no post

we have been having fun 'round here.
laughing and
blowing spit bubbles and
exploring the sound of waves and
staring at our hands
and meeting new friends and
figuring out a naptime groove.

photos are happening.
my heart is exploding.
life is good.

yesterday

we had our two-month checkup.


at almost ten weeks,
liam weighs 14 lbs. and
is 25 inches long.
he is growing out of
his small diapers and
is starting to fit into
his 6-9 month clothing!

hee.

yay for cute babies
with
leg rolls!

two months

i have spent the last 62 days
in awe of this sweet baby
that we created.

entire days have been spent
gazing at this baby that is thriving
from the milk he drinks from my body
and the love that his papa and i give him.

the laundry is not done.
there are dishes in the sink.
the bathroom needs to be scrubbed.
phone calls are not returned.
thank-you notes need to be written.
and sleep-deprived, i stare.

he sticks out his tongue on purpose
and says, "ah-coo" as he smiles.
he really is brilliant.
sigh...

i thought i knew.
really, i did.
but nothing.
nothing could have prepared me for
all of the love that has filled my heart.

it is scary and wonderful at the same time.

click here to see all of his photos from birth to present.

lucky

"the first day of classes
and no ms. kathleen,"
read the monday morning
email from the principal
of new song academy.
"i hope liam realizes
how lucky he is to have
you all to himself."



i am the lucky one.

i DO think of the shorties
and what they are doing
and how they are treating
their new teacher.
i wonder if ny-ny is
still being a leader in
the classroom,
or if my baby-kitten-shortie
is still playing class psychologist.
i hopehopehope that shay finally
decided to use her powers for good
and not evil...

and mostly, i pray
that they are taking care of each other.

breast is best

"it's like getting a titty twister",
i said, three weeks ago,
biting my lip hard as our
boy shortie latched on for his
9:00 feeding.

my husband looked up from his
harry-potter-trance.

"don't you remember when you were
a kid and someone would run up to you
and scream 'titty twister!!!' as they grabbed
your nipple and twisted with all of their might?"

he grimaced, held his chest, and said, "yeah", not
knowing where i was going with this.

"well...breastfeeding is like that.
it is like you are lifting your shirt,
thrusting your bare chest out,
while you bracingly say,
'go 'head...do it...,'
eight to twelve times a day".

silence.

note:
ever since the breast-saver-goddess
came to my house
from the la leche league
things have been MUCH better.
(see previous post)

my lip has healed
and my cursing has ceased.
until
he gets teeth.

spc: patterns

this month's spc challenge is about exporing pattens.
when i think of patterns, the teacher in me
automatically thinks: numbers.
this leads me to time measurement.
liam was eating every three hours at first.
then every two hours.
now it is between one and two hours.
all day.
all night.
the pattern of nourishment.
the pattern of his breathing as he
gulps and grunts happily.
the repeated expression each time he falls off my breast:
eyebrows raised, arms stretched high, milky face content and happy.



click here to see others' pattern interpretations.

one month and one day ago

our lives changed forever.
our hearts became fuller than we could ever imagine.
our estimate of how much poop a baby can produce was proven wrong.
we became more aware.
of everthing.

i love you, littlest man.
(that is what aunt lala calls you).

my goodness...

my heart
is not my own.

this morning,
mr. babypants
smiled at me.

it wasn't a reflex
or gas.
it was an
honesttogod
smile.
a reaction
to his mama.

sigh.

i will forever be a puddle.

to keep seeing the
boy-shortie goodness
click here.

oh yeah...right

"i am going to post at least one
photo a day for the first year..."
i said
before
i had this amazing little man in my arms.

i HAVE taken manymanymany photos.
and i am slowly,
while holding and feeding and staring
at the dear one we created,
uploading them here.

i have so much i want to share
and i will.
i promise.
no.
really.

keep checking the photos on my flickr site
to get your fix.

i'll be back.
i promise.

introducing...

one week ago i was in labor.
i was getting through each
contraction one long breath
at a time.
at 2:53 a.m., last thursday morning
we had our baby, liam.

10 pounds
3 ounces
22 inches long.
water birth.

i have spent a week staring at his perfect
toes
ears
mouth
fingers
shoulders
nose
eyes
and chubby legs.

it is killing me to be typing here
in case i miss something!

i am in love
a thousand times over.

life is good.
so, so good.

see more snuggaliscious shots here

p.s. thank you all for leaving me the sweet comments
and encouragement through this amazing journey!

still no baby. what?

i still haven't had him.
he is taking his sweetoldtime.
so i thought i would share some photos.
my very talented,
amazing, photographer-friend,
julia pearson, took these photos.
"quick! come over! i want to get
some photos of you before you have him!"
she said last tuesday when i was told
i was dilated so much.


click here to see other photos from the set.


julia is also going
to work her magic and record our son's birth.
but don't worry...i won't be posting them here.
hee..

our shortie will be here soon!

are we there yet?

39 weeks and counting...



"the good news is
that you're dilated
4 to 5 centimeters"
said my midwife
this afternoon.
(10cm and you start pushing)

"everything's going beautifully.
it could be tomorrow
or next week.
your body is progressing
towards the birth
of your son."
she smiled at me
through her wise eyes.

tears.
i get to meet him soon.
tears.
i can't believe this is finally happening.

it could be any day now.

our beautiful baby will be in our arms.

sunday pink

i made watermelon gazpacho yesterday
for our bradley birth class reunion.
yum!
that would have been an excellent pink photo.
but it was eaten.

so i dug through some of my favorite pink shots
from the last year to share with you.

it has been a fun color week!
thank you for all who stopped by.
let's do it again sometime...soon!

sat-red-day

when i was a kid,
my friend, susan, used
to sing this song:
"red, red, pee in the bed
soak it up with gingerbread".

and to this day, i think:
"what the hell does that mean?"

that song will alway come to mind though
everytime i hear the word red.

thanks, susan...









tomorrow is the last day for color week
and it is all about the color pink!

i don't have any songs about pink.
do you?

orange you glad it's friday?

whenever i think of orange,
i automatically think of an
ice cold orange crush.
or a stewart's orange creme.

orange is the color that
sums up summer.











tomorrow? saturday reds...

white/brown/black

trying to be distracted by
color week
as my boy is rolling all
across the inside of my torso.

papaya tablets are my new best friend
as he nestles up into my sternum.

sigh.

enjoy today's color trio!

greenygreengreen

wednesday is all about
rockin' the green.
even in urban baltimore
there is a lot of this
lovely color.











check out other color seekers!
here
here
here
here
and here.

it's not too late! join in on the fun.
thursday is white,brown and black!