Oct 27, 2006

monster mash

today was the last day of our first session.
i made it.
seven weeks of the longestdaysever.
breathe.
35 days of hating the monster i feel i am becoming.
how do i reach these children?

i haven't written much.
i wake up exhausted.
i go to bed exhausted.
i dream of failed lessons
and what coulda'shoulda'woulda' happened
ififif...

i have cried at the end of the day
as i erase all of the
lessons-that-didn't-happen
from our morning message board.
lessons that don't even have a chance
because of behaviors that
leave me with my jaw on the floor,
pulling every trick out of each
file in my spinning head.
i miss my old shorties...

i have wanted to scream
at the TOP OF MY LUNGS
at the child who
consistentlyconsistentlyconsistently
keeps me from teaching.
eyelids turned inside out,
whistling without a care,
he ignores my attempt at
redirecting his powers towards
good and not evil.

i have made it.
time to regroup.
it will get better.
i know they can do it.

after i rest and sort my head
i will reflect and write more.

Posted by Kathleen at 10/27/2006 11:10:00 PM

Labels:

13 comments:

  1. Anonymous10/28/2006 11:37 AM

    Good to hear an update from you. Sounds like it's been rough. Hope the next chapter gets better.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Vanessa/NessieNoodle10/28/2006 12:31 PM

    hang in there girl, take the time during your break to regroup and re-energize.

    I love this photo, it has such an interesing message, the words "Empahty and Caring" fuzzy and out of focus, yet the hands and the touch in focus.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Kristine10/28/2006 3:09 PM

    I am glad to hear that you made it though. I hope you will have a chance to rejuvenate and power up for the next go-around. My thoughts are with you. Take care.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous10/28/2006 5:41 PM

    I have so much admiration for you, awe at being able to teach when it seems like everything is stacked up against you.
    I hope that things get better, you deserve kindness.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous10/30/2006 7:25 AM

    I can't imagine a more kind or caring person to sheperd these children out of the darkness. You are an amazing spirit, Kathleen.

    O:)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Marigoldie10/30/2006 9:41 PM

    Yes, I'm with Nessie on the photo. You're my photog-god. And I know it will get better with these shorties.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Kathleen10/30/2006 10:09 PM

    thank you all...i appreciate all the support.
    i am definately feelin' the love. for serious.
    thank you for your kind words.

    i can feel you all standing behind me in the
    classroom, cheering me on.

    xo. thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Emily10/31/2006 9:56 AM

    Lovely picture and you are working some magic. Try to rest this break :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous10/31/2006 1:03 PM

    You are what these children need. You are the love, the understanding, and the teacher.

    You will get through to these kids. Failure is not an option.

    Time to regroup and move forward.

    ReplyDelete
  10. deezee10/31/2006 1:43 PM

    oh how I admire you dedicated teachers...

    and that photo is incredible...

    ReplyDelete
  11. Diz Rivera10/31/2006 8:09 PM

    OH man, K. I'm sorry you have it tough right now. You are awesome. You are strength and love. Nothing more powerful than that.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous10/31/2006 11:53 PM

    And if they don't get better, tell them your big brother is coming to town to take care of some business.

    like that will scare anybody:)

    tenemos voy a mexico. Teine que obedecer su corazon.

    see you soon.

    love

    ReplyDelete
  13. EllyJane11/08/2006 6:33 AM

    i love this photos and post and, as a teacher, i will have to become a regular reader... because i think i have a coupla posts quite similar to this one... at least in sentiment.

    ReplyDelete

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