happy halloween, ya'll

pumpkin ale.
chocolate.
glitter.
arched-backed kitties.


it's the most wonderful time of the year.

monster mash

today was the last day of our first session.
i made it.
seven weeks of the longestdaysever.
breathe.
35 days of hating the monster i feel i am becoming.
how do i reach these children?

i haven't written much.
i wake up exhausted.
i go to bed exhausted.
i dream of failed lessons
and what coulda'shoulda'woulda' happened
ififif...

i have cried at the end of the day
as i erase all of the
lessons-that-didn't-happen
from our morning message board.
lessons that don't even have a chance
because of behaviors that
leave me with my jaw on the floor,
pulling every trick out of each
file in my spinning head.
i miss my old shorties...

i have wanted to scream
at the TOP OF MY LUNGS
at the child who
consistentlyconsistentlyconsistently
keeps me from teaching.
eyelids turned inside out,
whistling without a care,
he ignores my attempt at
redirecting his powers towards
good and not evil.

i have made it.
time to regroup.
it will get better.
i know they can do it.

after i rest and sort my head
i will reflect and write more.

honkSQUEAK

jamie read the title of
the story she was about to read to my shorties
from her book of scary tales.

"listen to the way ms. jamie
uses her voice. she makes her
voice sound very scary.
she is really great at it!"

jamie asked me if i believe in ghosts.

i answered, "yes."

she told us all about the ghosts
that frequent her aunt's house
that is next to a graveyard.

hands shot up into the air
as the shorties made connections
to their own life experiences.

my shortie-of-sweetness
shared the following:
"one day, when i was home alone
in my room, i heard a very strange noise.
it went, "honkSQUEAK, honkSQUEAK, honkSQUEAK!!!'
(note: "squeak" was said a little louder and at a higher pitch than the "honk")

we asked what happened next.

"well. i was scared cuz it sounded just like
my bed does when i jump on it...but i wasn't
moving! and then i heard it again!
honkSQUEAK, honkSQUEAK, honkSQUEAK!
it was really loud!"

at this point, i put my head down on my desk
to hide the fact that i had tears rolling down my face
from laughing so hard.

he kept saying, "honkSQUEAK, honkSQUEAK, honkSQUEAK!"

jamie leaned over and quietly whispered to me,
"i don't think he was alone."

as i ran out of the room so that i could laugh openly,
i heard my shortie-of-sweetness respond to the
questions of what-he-did-next.
"i ran into the living room and turned the t.v. on
and it finally stopped."

honkSQUEAK, honkSQUEAK, honkSQUEAK!

hee.
out of the mouths of babes.

kifli

living behind the school,
hiding from the rain in muddy rat-tunnels,
and being hungry are behind her now.
meet kifli.
weighing in at 1.3 pounds.

we bathed her
with lavender shampoo
and warm water.
she didn't move an inch as
the flea dirt and mud washed out
of her fur and swirled down the drain

she is stretched out,
licking her paws;
cozy and nestled
in her down-filled blanket.

life is good, little one.
may you have sweet dreams
and be happy.

free hugs

saw this today.
wouldn't it be nice if
we could all be this open
to others?