the honeymoon is over

each time i see one of my old shorties
i want to scoop them up and tell them
how much i miss them.
(sometimes i do.)

i am at a loss.
my new shorties are testing me
in every way they can.
i have become ms. kath-a-mean.
fer real.
fer serious, ya'll.

the not careingaboutdoinghomework,
and inyourface disrespect
and flat-out meanness towards one another
is just killing me.

to keep them safe and peaceful,
i have had to separate the groups of desks
into neat rows, individually facing front.
how lame.
that is not me.
that goes against every teaching grain
in my want-to-encourage-them being.

but to be a peaceful community, they need to work together.
to work together, they need to be kind to each other.
and the element-of-kind is what they are struggling with.

and even more lame:
i KNOW that childrens' behavior comes from their environment.
and i am enforcing negativity by seperating them.

i am exhausted.
i KNOW that we will get there.
but today, i feel like i have been beaten.
today, i experienced the worst behavior from my shorties
than any others i have taught. ever.

and it is not acceptable.
i am raising the bar even higher.

may all the forces be with me.


i'm goin' in.