heavy energy

we all die.
i know that.
how it's going to go down?
that is the mystery.
that is the freak out.

when the mama of two wee ones
suddenly dies, the world comes to a halt.
nothing else seems more important than
our babies.
our friends.
our loves.

the strength to move on and live...
really live, takes courage.
it takes an open heart and the ability to
ignore the disheslaundryunmadebeds and
focus on snugglingplayingsinginglaughing instead.

what if this were your last day?
without dwelling on the inevitable end,
can you say that your heart is full? i mean, reallyreally full?

i rush the chop through the door in the morning,
comeoncomeoncomeoncomeon
we're going to be late for school!
and honestly, when i think about it,
i would rather be a few minutes late
and take our time walking up the hill towards the school.
deep breaths. remember what is important in this short life.
stopping to say hello to a neighbor,
connections of the heart. absorb the goodness.
or ponder the new mural on the corner of barclay and federal.
you never know what each day will bring.

i want to freeze time.
rewind time.
go back and tell people how much i admire them
and am grateful for them
before it's too late.

lesson learned here, again, dearest beth.
i will miss your spirit and light.



my horoscope today:

Your persistent search for the truth may uncover 
important realizations that change your day for the better. 
But it's not easy to find an uplifting story 
in the midst of heavy energy today. 
You're sorting out your emotions now and could 
learn an important lesson along the way. 
You haven't chosen an easy journey, 
but exploring beneath the surface alters your perspective 
and gives you a brand new lease on life. 
Thankfully, your courageous heart knows no bounds.