the party's over

today was my first day back in my classroom.
one week before the shorties arrive.
seven days to colorfully and creatively cover bulletin boards.
a short time to breathe deeply and fill the room with love and good vibes.

my summer has ended nicely.
our trip to the outerbanks was stellar!
i have never been there before and was blown away with the beauty of the dunes.
and...
fireworks every night!
somewhere, about every ten minutes or so, someone sets off fireworks.
brilliant displays of fire, sparks and light, in fact.
they do this even though there are signs posted not to.
it was like independence day for a week!

our nieces had much salty sand fun.



we rested, ate amazing family-cooked meals, read,


sunned ourselves,



and sang at the top of our lungs with the ocean as our percussion.


alas...back to the books.
back to grading papers.
back to figuring out what makes the shorties tick.

goodbye summer.

39 years ago today...

last night was a celebration!
it was the eve of my 39th birthday!
the last birthday in my thirties.
i get all sentimental about stuff like that.
"i'll never have another birthday in my thirties again. ever."

not that i feel old. cuz i'm not.
it is just a fact that from now on, my birthdays will have a larger digit in the place value of ten.
(ok, teacher!)

red wine was used to toast this anniversary of my entrance into the world.
and then some white.
and then some more red.

eventually, we ended up at the club charles where we were in the wonderful company of our sweet friend, stewart.

she was just getting off work and joined us for a cocktail.
goslings on the rocks was placed before me.

well...you know...i can never get the rhyme straight until it is too late.
i am talking about:
"wine before liquor, never sicker.
liquor before beer (or wine), never fear"

on top of screwing up the order in which i was drinking, i am not USED to imbibing that much alcohol in one night.
so.
today.
was a fuzzy-due-to-being-hungover birthday.

but i managed to make myself feel a little better with a pair of john fluevog boots!


it is tradition that each year i buy myself a pair of boots for my birthday.

i found this treasure at ma petite shoe and chocolate (pure evil!) in hampden!

then, we went and had a little of the hair of the dog...


which made me feel better, but very sleeeeeeeeeeepy.

alas, i am home and packing for our trip.
paul and i leave for the outerbanks tomorrow morning! we will be there for a week!
woo hoo!
and then, back to the shorties!

kisses blown to all of you. will write when i return, unless i find a wi-fi cafe'!

...away you rolling river

my dear friend, keno, flew in on monday from chicago.
i picked him up from the airport and we both ingested sufficient amounts of coffee
as we drove to harpers ferry, west virginia to go TUBING!
i have always wanted to do this.
i have listened enviously to stories of lazily drifting down the Shenandoah river on hot summer days.
i have often driven by the river/tubing/rafting places on my way to and from the western maryland mountains, curious as to how one goes about it all.
monday, my wondering came to an end!
we arrived at river and trail outfitters , parked and went inside to purchase our day-o-fun. keno purchased river shoes (only $16.00 and good quality!) and were given directions to where we had to park and get our rafts (about 4 miles down the road)
upon arrival, we met berkely.

he instructed us to jump in the back of his pickup. he tossed our tubes and life-jackets in behind us and asked us to stay seated. i looked at keno nervously as he started to hum “dueling banjos”.

berkely drove us up the road a spell and pulled over.
“usually we take you further up the road. but, since the water is low, i will drop you here.” our driver explained, “if you aren’t satisfied, i’ll take you up again once you return.”
after being instructed to stay on the far side or near the middle of the river (so our butts wouldn’t be scraped off by big rocks in the low tide), we scrambled down to the river’s edge and launched off.
i looked back and waved goodbye to berkely, who was watching us and puffing on his corncob pipe.

the next two hours were perfect.
we saw purplish-blue dragon flies galore.
we chatted and performed water-ballet as blue herons watched us curiously and geese preened their feathers.

with the warm aftenoon sun on our faces, we sang the folk song written for that great river at the top of our lungs.

upon a perfect landing, berkely requested in his west virginia drawl, “if you were satisfied with your trip, tell all your friends. if you weren’t, don’t tell anybody!”

so…go one and all to harpers ferry and say hello to berkely for us!

won't be long 'til summer time is through

streeeeeeeeeeeetch…
ahhh…three of the five weeks i have off for summer are almost over…
what a lazy writer i have been!

even though i truly am enjoying my free time, i miss the shorties immensely. i saw one of them last week when i went to the school to pick up some stuff and organize our room.
“ms. kath-a-leeeeeeeeeeeeeen”, she squealed as she ran to me, throwing her arms around my waist.
(that, my friends, is one of the reasons i dowhatido)

and now, allow me to tell you about the pool party AND the end of the year violin recital that the shorties pulled off.

the party was stellar! ms. dudley (an angel who volunteers in my classroom every week) threw the gala at her incredibly spacious digs.
she outfitted the shorties with water wings, spiderman life jackets and rafts for luxurious floating.


they were terrified of the water at first.some could not muster enough bravery to venture from the steps without panicking.

but…by the end of the day (after hours of agonizing coaching and you-can-do-its), they were doing cannonballs and backward jumps from the diving board!

crazy kids.

the violin recital went amazingly well. our violin teacher composed usher’s “yeah” for a violin and taught it to the kids. also part of the program were pieces by beethoven , mozart and some of those other composers with white wigs. The shorties were shining up on that stage! their hard work was evident!
i beamed proudly, snapping away with my camera.



the last day of school was all about the “we’re going to 4th grade” dance in our new classroom.

and now.
summer break.
yeah, baby!

spike

ahhh. the weekend.
finally time to write about the most exciting day the shorties had last week!

a while back, i ran into spike gjerde, a chef i worked for while in college. we were talking about my new teaching career. (surprisesurprise, i was talking about the shorties!)

when i told him how much the kids like to cook, he invited me to bring them to his restaurant, joy america café’! how awesome and generous to invite a group of third-graders into your fine-dining restaurant! not only did they get a tour, but they got to cook!

they made quesadillas and, for dessert, flourless chocolate cakes topped with vanilla ice cream, chocolate and caramel sauce!
of course, before making dessert, they did a taste-test of milk and dark chocolate from france. they literally ate handfuls of the stuff.
aaaaaaaaand…
they got to taste homemade plantain chips and witness how an entire rockfish is cut into fillets and skinned.
they were introduced to squeezing limes over spicy spanish peanuts as a snack and allowed to brave the heat of hot peppers from around the world.


spike encouraged them to discuss the flavors and spices in the food they were eating while sitting at a table clothed with white linen.

afterwards, we raced to the top of federal hill and worked off our lunch zooming around the playground.
rolling down the hill back to the van burned even more calories!

when we got back to the school, the shorties actually got their reading pillows and collapsed into sleeping piles on the floor for the last half hour before they had to go home. hee!

what a day! so. if you get a chance to eat at joy america (in the visionary arts museum) in baltimore, please give kudos to chef spike for having a big heart and being so kind to shorties!


(click on the pictures and you can see more of our day!)

sum-sum-summertime

wednesday.
another hothothot day in charm city.
the sticky heat called for a trip to mr. benny's snowball stand.
the shorties and i took a shortcut down leslie street and cut over to the famous sandtown spot.
these icy delights are served in big cups (even the small is big and only 60 cents!)
filled with crushed ice and doused generously with sticky, neon-colored syrup.
flavors like: pimp juice, superman, and cold duck are very popular.
i like egg custard (vanilla).
for 25 cents extra you can get melted marshmallow gooped right on top!
YUM-O-RAMA!
the best part: your tongue turning the color of your snowball.

therapy

two weekends ago, i spent a wonderful, meditative weekend at my aunt and uncle’s beach house in bethany.
(by myself. alone. sans company, nada compadres)
when i arrived on friday night, i unpacked my car and drove to the boardwalk in ocean city.
upon emergence from the car, i was immediately five-years-old again.
you see…it was like sensory-memory-therapy.
when we were kids, along with anyone else who grew up within driving distance to this endearing place, we would beg our parents to take us to the boardwalk. “pleasepleaseplease take us on the rides…we want cotton candy…chocolate-dipped ice cream cones, yes!”
the big ferris-wheel, the salt-water taffy signs (does anyone actually eat that stuff?) and the hermit-crab cages…mmm hmmm. yup. all good.

i grabbed a slice of pepperoni and settled on a bench to watch the crowds.
pure entertainment at its best. truly.
stuffed-animal toting, exhausted children demanding ice cream from their sunburned parents, eating big buckets of thrasher’s french fries doused with vinegar.
high school graduates, celebrating “senior week”, weaving drunkenly in their teensy-mini skirts and tattoo-exhibiting wife-beaters.
aaaaahhhh yes, i was “downy o-shun” as we say in baltimore.

i finished my snack and walked a mile or so down, breathing in the salt air.
i could feel the stress leaving with each caramel-popcorn-infused inhale.
i was amazed at the big jesus-sand-sculpture. incredibly there was a huge container of cash-o-la that sits in front of the sculpture.
it is crammed with bills and no one steals it!
gives one hope that there is good in the world.


i went down to the very end of the boardwalk where the rides are. i reminiscently visited the same carousel that i used to ride thirty years ago.
so much goodness: the big ship that swings back and forth, and the
rollercoaster that looks like a giant, twisted spine.
all the same.
amazing.
beautiful even.



i treated myself to a chocolate soft-serve cone and watched the man flounder at the “i’ll guess your age and weight” attraction.
with my belly and camera full, i returned to my car and drove back to the serenity of bethany beach.
i slept in the silent night.
slept in the absence of sirens and traffic.
i slept.
hard.

i spent both saturday and sunday on the sand.
i read,
ate soft-shell crab sandwiches,
snacked on fischer’s popcorn,
ate more ice cream,
napped.

the beach heals.

...and the livin' is easy

great news! paul officially started his new job yesterday!
two men that are opening a wine store, were looking for someone to help them with the opening and to manage the store, too. our friend, jen, told them about my wonderful husband. he is in heaven as he is helping them order their inventory and doing a lot of tasting!
so…the beauty of it is that he won’t be working late hours anymore as the wine store closes at 9:00. AND…the best part is that the store is closed on sundays…so we get to do our farmers’ market trip together on sunday mornings and then spend the day together cooking and enjoying each others’ company. hee!

this was my first week back after my two week break. the shorties were dragging from the heat and from knowing that all of the other kids in the community are out of school. (our school is a year-round school). it is hard for them to look through the classroom window and see a mother drag a baby pool down the front stoop, onto the sidewalk and fill it with water so her babies can splash away the hot Baltimore heat. it kills them to hear the bells of the ice-cream truck drive down presstman street during our afternoon writing time. next time it happens, i am going to surprise them and take them down to get something cold and sugary…of course, it is purely selfish as I would totally dig eating a push-up or a nutty-buddy cone. yum!

i love driving home and seeing all of the shorties on their front steps, squirting each other with water guns, shrieking and eating popsicles. I love how all of the neighbors sit in lawn chairs on the sidewalks, talking, playing chess, and fanning themselves while they catch up on gossip and happenings.

unfortunately, a “happening” that is being discussed is the fact that one of our pre-school students contracted scabies and has spread it to other students in the school. Yikes! even more unfortunate, one of MY shorties is one of the unlucky ones. Sooooooo…I have been feeling itchy…eek! I am pretty sure that I don’t have them…but it is a gross thing to worry about. also, it doesn’t help my quest in trying to get pregnant, you know? It is hard to come home and try to be intimate (because I am fertile right now…I know, I know…T.M.I.) when your husband is aware that you may have little bugs burrowing under your skin at that very moment…

So, on this beautiful, stellar Friday, I am going to rub some hydrocortisone cream on any suspicious areas, pour some delicious, iced green tea with honey and go pull some weeds from my garden.

Happy weekend, beautiful people.

a museum a day...

my aunt is visiting from memphis.
we have gone to a new museum each day for the last week! whew...i think my head will burst with all of the new information i have absorbed...
it is a good bursting...
i just wanted to comment on something that confirmed all that i believe in when i ponder the amazingness and purity of childrens souls.
we went to the holocaust museum on monday. there were thousands of photographs of jewish prisoners arriving at the concentration camps...arriving to die.
yet. the children...their faces...some were looking at the camera and smiling. even in this dire moment, they still had hope that something good would maybe happen...
the way their faces looked...the grownups all around them exhausted, afraid...doomed. and the children still had the innocence in their faces...and smiled.

it was an intense day, in itself. overwhelmingly intense. but the smile on the children's faces is what got me. pure. innocent. trusting.
amazing.

we hold their trust in our hands. we are responsible for their souls. treat them kindly, whether you are a teacher, parent, relative or just passing a child in public.
be kind.

i have been off for two weeks. can you tell i miss the shorties?

peace to you all and have a great weekend.

country roads

my cousin, jess, married her true love, brandon, in the mountains of west virginia on saturday. their friend, sunny, read this poem to the family and friends stretched out on quilts under the canopy of green leaves and blue sky.
we danced in a big barn filled with love while the children scooped up flower petals from the floor. they threw them high in the air screeching with delight...the event was magical.

The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

© Oriah Mountain Dreamer, from the book The Invitation published by HarperSanFrancisco, 1999

pure bliss

i just wanted to share this picture. i have it as my wallpaper on my computer right now.
it helps to remind me to give in to the good that i see and focus on the positive...
it calls out, telling me to throw back my head and laugh out loud.
it was taken when we went outside to blow bubbles for a science experiment.
we forgot about our work and got drippy-slippery with bubbles.

it truly is the little things.

muy bueno!

tacos.
they make everything a little bit better sometimes.
ya' know?

each time the shorties do something great, i put a scoop of rice into a big jar.
when the jar is full, we cook something in the classroom.
we have made:
ice cream made with egg yolks (the shorties can separate the whites and the yolks!),
puttanesca (inspired from the writing of lemony snickett),
pumpkin seeds roasted with rosemary,
popcorn made in a big pot,
homemade hot chocolate and mulled cider,
cookies, etc.

yesterday we made tacos! What a wonderful, cheesy mess it was!


tacos made us all smile.
tacos allowed for some positive mayhem.

full bellies and smiles all around.

super-shorties

Air.
Because I have to breathe deeply now.
Because I can breathe deeply now.

Last week was hard.
Last week was insane, actually.

Metal barricades blocking the streets are supposed to make everyone feel safer because of “police presence”…
This, needed because of the increasing violence including a boy gunned down in front of our pre-school.
So the police are present.
The response: the people that have been doing the murdering in my school’s neighborhood thought “retaliation”
Fuck the police.
We’ll show them.
So three people are shot one block away from where the barricades are set up.

And my shorties…well, they just blow it off. Talk about it like it doesn’t get to them. And why should they let it? If they cried over every shooting; cared about every shooting, then they would be crying 24/7.

Hearing my own voice telling this story sounds disconnected to my actual self.

So Friday’s morning circle…they were to give me one word that described their neighborhood. One word that summed up their community..
Asaan: violence.
Kashai: terrible.
Tyrone: death


It went like that. And I took many deep breaths.
So then…we took it from there.
Our goal was to visualize the future for the community. Because, without seeing it and dreaming it, it won’t ever happen.
Right?

So they summoned their courage and visualized.
They drew pictures and discussed turning old buildings into Demond’s Mexican Restaurant with café tables outside (because people will feel safe doing that in the future)…Brooke is going to have a deli…
In their drawings there was no trash on the ground. The fluffy white clouds in the sky floated encouraging messages to the peaceful, loving community below.

So I took more deep breaths.
Breathe…
I am constantly amazed that, even in the face of pure evil and danger, the shorties can see the bright side.
When living in a war zone, the fatigue and stress are taxing…yet they can dream and hold on to what is in their hearts…

Breathe in their honesty.
Inhale their trust.

I hugged each of them dearly today when I saw them after a long worry-filled weekend.

And another hope-filled week begins…

allergies haiku in 2 parts

my nose is running
making my throat extemely
sore from pollen dust.

i can't keep my eyes
open because I am tired
and also cranky.

'nap town

so.
i took the shorties to annapolis! we saw the may baskets and took a short cruise down the chesapeake. but the highlights were meeting mayor ellen moyer, eating ice cream at storm brothers and playing on the kick-arse playground that has been rebuilt downtown!
the kids were in heaven. they asked the mayor very good questions like, "how do you take care of your community?", and "are there any loose criminals here?", and "what is the hardest day of your week?"...i was so proud.
yup.
when we got back from our trip i asked them to write one thing that they learned or that was memorable to them about the day we had...most of them wrote: annapolis has a lot of good ice cream and we met the mayor.
honestly. we went on monday and they are STILL talking about the ice cream. they even memorized what flavor each other had...("daniel had banana and malika had vanilla with sprinkles...")
so.
you know i am putting pics below. how can i not? jeez. these kids are priceless. wonderful.
they. are. my. heart.