country roads

my cousin, jess, married her true love, brandon, in the mountains of west virginia on saturday. their friend, sunny, read this poem to the family and friends stretched out on quilts under the canopy of green leaves and blue sky.
we danced in a big barn filled with love while the children scooped up flower petals from the floor. they threw them high in the air screeching with delight...the event was magical.

The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

© Oriah Mountain Dreamer, from the book The Invitation published by HarperSanFrancisco, 1999

pure bliss

i just wanted to share this picture. i have it as my wallpaper on my computer right now.
it helps to remind me to give in to the good that i see and focus on the positive...
it calls out, telling me to throw back my head and laugh out loud.
it was taken when we went outside to blow bubbles for a science experiment.
we forgot about our work and got drippy-slippery with bubbles.

it truly is the little things.

muy bueno!

tacos.
they make everything a little bit better sometimes.
ya' know?

each time the shorties do something great, i put a scoop of rice into a big jar.
when the jar is full, we cook something in the classroom.
we have made:
ice cream made with egg yolks (the shorties can separate the whites and the yolks!),
puttanesca (inspired from the writing of lemony snickett),
pumpkin seeds roasted with rosemary,
popcorn made in a big pot,
homemade hot chocolate and mulled cider,
cookies, etc.

yesterday we made tacos! What a wonderful, cheesy mess it was!


tacos made us all smile.
tacos allowed for some positive mayhem.

full bellies and smiles all around.

super-shorties

Air.
Because I have to breathe deeply now.
Because I can breathe deeply now.

Last week was hard.
Last week was insane, actually.

Metal barricades blocking the streets are supposed to make everyone feel safer because of “police presence”…
This, needed because of the increasing violence including a boy gunned down in front of our pre-school.
So the police are present.
The response: the people that have been doing the murdering in my school’s neighborhood thought “retaliation”
Fuck the police.
We’ll show them.
So three people are shot one block away from where the barricades are set up.

And my shorties…well, they just blow it off. Talk about it like it doesn’t get to them. And why should they let it? If they cried over every shooting; cared about every shooting, then they would be crying 24/7.

Hearing my own voice telling this story sounds disconnected to my actual self.

So Friday’s morning circle…they were to give me one word that described their neighborhood. One word that summed up their community..
Asaan: violence.
Kashai: terrible.
Tyrone: death


It went like that. And I took many deep breaths.
So then…we took it from there.
Our goal was to visualize the future for the community. Because, without seeing it and dreaming it, it won’t ever happen.
Right?

So they summoned their courage and visualized.
They drew pictures and discussed turning old buildings into Demond’s Mexican Restaurant with café tables outside (because people will feel safe doing that in the future)…Brooke is going to have a deli…
In their drawings there was no trash on the ground. The fluffy white clouds in the sky floated encouraging messages to the peaceful, loving community below.

So I took more deep breaths.
Breathe…
I am constantly amazed that, even in the face of pure evil and danger, the shorties can see the bright side.
When living in a war zone, the fatigue and stress are taxing…yet they can dream and hold on to what is in their hearts…

Breathe in their honesty.
Inhale their trust.

I hugged each of them dearly today when I saw them after a long worry-filled weekend.

And another hope-filled week begins…

allergies haiku in 2 parts

my nose is running
making my throat extemely
sore from pollen dust.

i can't keep my eyes
open because I am tired
and also cranky.

'nap town

so.
i took the shorties to annapolis! we saw the may baskets and took a short cruise down the chesapeake. but the highlights were meeting mayor ellen moyer, eating ice cream at storm brothers and playing on the kick-arse playground that has been rebuilt downtown!
the kids were in heaven. they asked the mayor very good questions like, "how do you take care of your community?", and "are there any loose criminals here?", and "what is the hardest day of your week?"...i was so proud.
yup.
when we got back from our trip i asked them to write one thing that they learned or that was memorable to them about the day we had...most of them wrote: annapolis has a lot of good ice cream and we met the mayor.
honestly. we went on monday and they are STILL talking about the ice cream. they even memorized what flavor each other had...("daniel had banana and malika had vanilla with sprinkles...")
so.
you know i am putting pics below. how can i not? jeez. these kids are priceless. wonderful.
they. are. my. heart.