date night

baked chicken eaten with our bare hands.
advent calendar chocolate for dessert.
hot toddy for mama.
and tomorrow?
we're hoping for another snow day.

sunday snow

saturday

pancakes.
mandolins.
gingerbread and icing.
and horse feathers.

what a full day it has been.

this

is what i've got today.
no words
trying to be clever
or funny.
just this.
and i am happy with it.

real world fun

i left work and rushed to get to the chop's school.

"c'mon baby. grab your things, let's hurry!

i want to see the lighting of the monument tonight!"

but, mama, i want to go home and play on the computer.

wait. what?

"there is REAL fun to be had.

there's a real live world out there, 

with fireworks,

and cotton candy,

and singers,

and thousands of christmas lights!

much more fun than the fake world of a

game on the computer..."

i don't want to go.

can't we do it next day?

"it is only tonight.

and only once a year.

and did i mention pizza?"

no. i don't want to go.

"i do. i really want to go."

*sigh*

i wanted to say, "LET'S LIVE!"

i wanted to tell him that tomorrow isn't promised.

that we need to get out and breathe the fresh air.

that life is short so we should enjoy the loveliness of a 

rare, warm, december night.

that we should eat cinnamon pastry and drink chocolate milk for dinner

and take in the magic of this city of charm.

but i didn't. 

because he is only six, after all.

ok. i'll go because you really want to. 

but i want to play a game when we get home.

we walked the whole way there.

and there may have even been one or three christmas songs sung along the way.

"mama, look! i'm a newspaper box!"

and it was worth the wait.

and a beautiful night for a walk (almost) home.

last view before we hopped in to a taxi cab.

all i want for christmas

nothing puts you in the holiday spirit
like a christmas concert.
especially when small children are performing
in front of an audience of elders.
so sweet, it was.

i am officially in caroling mode.

the man in red

he is real.
so very real.
and his heart is as big as the north pole itself.

how about you

mama, do you believe in santa?

i do, yes.

zahari, in my class, she said that santa isn't real.

what do you think?

i believe, mama. i really do.

of course

me: baby, what do you want for dinner?

chop: bacon, ravioli, and egg nog.

i have created a monster.

start small

something about saying-it-out-loud is motivation.
"i am going to post every day for a month."
so i did. (almost)
and it was hard. but worth it.
i am shooting.
every day.
and that is one of the things that fills my heart like nothing else.

so i am going to do it again.
this time, looking for the magic of the season.
the small moments that make my day.
the real reasons that make me say "life is good."

join me?
you can post your entry in
in the comment section.
share your magic.
spread the love.
c'mon.

every little bit

all morning we snuggled in the big, green chair
at camp nitza while we watched shows and read a few books.
we drew pictures and played with legos.
we ate popcorn and drank warm almond milk.
with swords and capes, we conquered a few bad guys before
i said, "i need to take a shower and get ready for dinner."
(i was meeting friends downtown.)

but mama, i want to play candyland.

i promised we could play one round after i showered.

after i rinsed the shampoo from my hair…this:

mama, i will move your guy around the board and take your turns for you.



he really is so stinking cute.
and i soak in these moments because i know
that too soon
he will not want to spend so much time with me.


#naphopomo day 30.

time

"what if you wake up at 60 and realize that you forgot to wake up?" - anne lamott


a good friend of mine once said, "realize your dreams.
and then chase those f@*#ers down."
and that is just what i am going to do.
i am gearing up for the new year.
going to start early.
it is time to stop spinning wheels and
live with purpose.

it is time to make things happen.


#naphopomo day 29.

if you don't have anything nice to say

i work in retail and have at least 100 conversations a day with total strangers.
when i go home, i am exhausted.

people can be really thoughtless.
i try to remember that we
all have our stuff.
everyone has something going on
in their head,
in their heart…
it is hard sometimes to take deep breaths
and let it go.

i ran the charm city turkey trot today.
while running, i chatted about this with my friend, john.
he told me his outlook on people who frustrate him.

whether you believe in god, or buddha, or all the good-energy in the world, this applies:
those people? they are the stewards of god. they are put here to test us. test our patience and to remind us that we need to care about and be good to one another.

i like that.
i am going to work very hard to remember that.

happy thanksgiving.



#naphopomo day 28.

home

will you
won't you,
be the one i'll always know.
when i'm losing my control, the city spins around
you're the only one who knows,
you slow it down.
-the fray "look after you"


#naphopomo day 27

hippies use the side door

fortieth birthday celebration.
turkey harvesting.
egg collecting.
hair infused with campfire smell (one of my favorites things ever).
sailor jerry rum.
and cousins.

mix it all up and create a shindig on the best little farm near the mason dixon line.
(fyi: fun does run in my family…)



















#naphopomo day 24

ask me again

it's all happening.
the good stuff.
and the hard stuff.
my feet are on the ground and i am ready.
bring it.

#naphopomo day 23.

mornings

piles of picture books.
the chop.
and a farty dog.
add to that,
a french press full of coffee,
my favorite mug from angel fire,
and pajamas worn
late into the afternoon.


i am looking forward to this weekend.

#naphopomo day 22.

forward

artists and their work.
inspiring conversation.
(the kind that makes you set goals.)
(the kind of goals that make you simultaneously nervous and giddy.)

brisk night air filled with the smokey goodness of
a big-ass fire pit.
whiskey smash and government mules in copper cups.
new friends and old.
laughing as the glow from the fire takes snapshots
of a perfect evening.




#naphopomo day 21.

determined

#naphopomo day 19.

one day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice.
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"mend my life!"
each voice cried.
but you didn't stop.
you knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
it was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
but little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world
determined to do
the only thing you could do.
determined to save
the only life you could save.

 "the journey" by mary oliver

needed.

in my inbox today, a timely email from "a little bird told me":

Dear Beautiful Girl,

That thing that's been lingering on your mind, burning in your heart...that scary beautiful thing that you can't get out of your whole soul because it wants to be heard and acted upon........guess what lovely? It's not going to go away.

It's not going to go away because it's the deepest wisdom and authenticity of you trying to get you on exactly the right track. It is your truth.

What would a leap of faith look like? What is it that is holding you back? Would it be so bad just to take that first step? Would it be so bad to stop and really honor yourself and at least listen to that longing?

This is where your choices will make every difference in the world. This is where the fork in the road just might lead to the place you've been praying to be.

Get quiet, dear friend.......listen closely....then be brave when you know exactly what to do next but can't quite get the courage to do it. Be brave and go for it, then do it again. Live THAT ONE PRECIOUS LIFE OF YOURS....really really live it.

It is time.

You are so very beloved.

xoxo

#naphopomo day 18.

wake up call

Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life? - Mary Oliver



#naphopomo day 17.

the farm

cousins. first, second, and third.
gathered on the farm.
where tales are told, secrets and dreams are shared, and memories are made.
where you feel safe. and loved.
no matter what.







#naphopomo day 16

focus

to keep it simple.
to quiet my head.
to keep my heart from becoming numb.
i find it necessary to focus.
focus hard.

reeling a bit this week.
my camera, my boy, and the
search for even the tiniest bit of goodness
have kept me sane.

looking for signs. everywhere.
they are right in front of me.


my art.

my boy. (who is READING!)

finding the good.


#naphopomo day 15.